1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,464
Ah- Fix that step.

2
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:14,472
Morning!
I'm still sleeping.

3
00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:16,850
Happy anniversary.
Hmm.

4
00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:19,728
And they said
we wouldn't last.
Yeah.

5
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:23,398
Who said that?
Oh, look at you.
You're cute.

6
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,442
Go ahead. Open it.
What have you done?

7
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,653
Nothing.
Something. Nothing.

8
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:31,239
It's a View-Master.
Look inside.

9
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:34,326
Oh, it's us.
[Chuckles]

10
00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:36,661
Look at how young
we are.
[Chuckling]

11
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:39,289
[Clicks]
Oh, God, that perm.

12
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,291
Yeah, it really
framed my face.

13
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:44,753
[Clicks]
Why is there a picture
of a bracelet?

14
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:47,172
Huh. Must be
some kind of a mistake.

15
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,174
What the heck is that?
Phil, you didn't.

16
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,384
What did he- did he?
Oh, my God.

17
00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:55,388
[Gasps]
It's beautiful.
Oh, sweetie, I love it.

18
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,766
Okay, your turn.
My turn? Where is it?

19
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,809
It's on the bureau.
Oh.

20
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,895
I'm surprised
I didn't see it.

21
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,857
Where?
It's there.
The red envelope.

22
00:01:05,942 --> 00:01:10,195
- Oh. So- Card.
- No. That's where you're wrong.

23
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:14,866
I am so excited.

24
00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:18,954
Hey. Coupons for...

25
00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:21,623
five free hugs.

26
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,084
- You don't like it?
- Are you kidding me? I love it.

27
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:27,504
It's so creative. Coupons for hugs,
which are usually free.

28
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,881
But this makes it official,
which is so great.

29
00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:32,133
I was so proud of myself
when I thought of it...

30
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:34,219
because you're impossible
to buy for.

31
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,888
You never
want anything.

32
00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:38,890
Um, things I want:

33
00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:41,726
Robot dog, night-vision goggles,
bug vacuum,

34
00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:44,604
G.P.S. Watch, speakers
that look like rocks.

35
00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:46,690
I love my wife,
but she sucks at giving gifts.

36
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,776
I'm sorry for
the pay-channel language,
but- Oh, yogurt maker.

37
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,528
I can't not think
of things I want.

38
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,531
[Man]
♪ Hey, hey ♪

39
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:58,618
♪ Hey, hey
Hey, hey ♪

40
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:01,871
♪ Hey, hey
Hey ♪♪

41
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,713
I can't tell
if she needs a diaper change.

42
00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:12,465
I'd think we'd be able to tell.
No, with these diapers,
it's hard to tell.

43
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,593
Triple leakage protection.
LeakLock. Contours
to protect her little body.

44
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,762
No gapping or chapping.

45
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,723
Cam, do you think
that maybe we need a-

46
00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:21,433
Night out.
Yeah.

47
00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:23,893
Yeah. Yes.
Just a few hours
with a couple of adults,

48
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,354
few drinks,
no baby talk.

49
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,441
It'll make us better parents.
Stop drilling.
You've struck oil.

50
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,609
We'll get Gloria to babysit.
We're going out.

51
00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:34,779
You got some spittle.
Do I? You know
who'd be fun to call?

52
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,781
Sal.
Sal.
[Gasps]

53
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,117
Ooh, raise
the roof, Lily.
Yeah.

54
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,036
We're calling Sal.

55
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,538
Sal is our very best friend
in the whole wide world.

56
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,290
The reason we love her
so much...

57
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:48,126
is she has absolutely
no inhibitions.
No.

58
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,754
[Cameron] And that's
before she starts drinking.
Hanging out with her...

59
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,423
is like an Amsterdam
Saturday night
every day of the week.

60
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,467
And, ironically,

61
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:59,471
Sal's not allowed
back into Amsterdam.
Any day of the week.

62
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:02,265
[Gloria]
Of course we would love
to have the baby.

63
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,684
All the other cousins
are sleeping over tonight.

64
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:08,396
The more, the merrier.
Okay, see you tonight.
Bye-bye.

65
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,398
Is Haley still coming?
[Phone Beeps]

66
00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:14,319
You're related.
I will spray you with the hose.

67
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:19,491
All the grandkids are coming
over for Jay's Night.
Family tradition.

68
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:22,202
Everybody wears p.j.'s,
which they love.

69
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,996
I make my famous sloppy jays,
which are really sloppy joes...

70
00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:27,874
but made by Jay,
which they love.

71
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,918
And then we all watch
a Western together,

72
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:33,088
which they don't really care for,
but hey, it's Jay's Night.

73
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,965
So, Mom, there's
a party tonight
at Andrew Adler's,

74
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,717
and everybody's
gonna be there.

75
00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:40,261
Ooh, that sounds
like so much fun,
but I have other plans.

76
00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:43,723
Oh, that's hi-larious.
But I'm talking about me.

77
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:46,976
That's unusual.
Honey, you said you'd go
to your grandfather's tonight.

78
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,396
See, that's
what's so perfect about this.

79
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,398
Andrew only lives,
like, a couple blocks
away from Grandpa's.

80
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:54,109
- So I figured that I could go-
- Sweetie, you made a commitment.

81
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,946
But I really want to go.
Plus, every time
I go over to Grandpa's,

82
00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,989
Manny just stares at me
the whole time.

83
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,742
- Maybe if you wore a bra-
- Alex.

84
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,036
What? I can't wait
to go to Grandpa's.

85
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:09,582
Family means
everything to me.
'Cause you have no friends.

86
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,918
No. Because
I love Grandpa.

87
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,003
And he's getting older.

88
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:16,381
Who knows how many years
he has left?

89
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:19,300
Is Grandpa dying?
Didn't they tell you?

90
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:21,344
Alex, stop torturing
your brother.

91
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,972
No. Your grandfather
is fine.

92
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,307
[Quietly]
For now.
[Game Beeping]

93
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,561
[Doorbell Rings]
Hmm. Who could that be?

94
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:32,063
You expecting
someone special?

95
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,611
- [Door Opens]
- Thank you.

96
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:42,407
Flowers too?
I'm sorry.

97
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,034
Oh, what are you
apologizing for?
They're gorgeous.

98
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:48,496
That's too much.
With the View-Master
and the bracelet...

99
00:04:48,581 --> 00:04:50,498
and the flowers
and the balloons-

100
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,667
Balloons?
They're attached
to your car.

101
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,044
[Gasps]
I just don't want you
to feel bad...

102
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,297
about your little...
coupons.

103
00:04:57,381 --> 00:05:00,717
Wait a minute.
You- You thought the coupons
were your only present?

104
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,886
Are you kidding me?
They aren't?

105
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:06,848
No! Oh, Phil, come on.
It's our anniversary.

106
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:10,226
Those coupons were just,
like, a fun little way
to kick off the day.

107
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:13,897
Your real present
is coming tonight,
and you're gonna love it.

108
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,523
[Chuckles]
Love it.

109
00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,901
Cool.

110
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,903
I got nothing.

111
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,988
I'm so screwed.

112
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,367
Oh, this place brings back
so many memories.

113
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:28,495
- Oh, my God!
- Sal!

114
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:32,582
Get up! Get up!
Get in here! Big bear!

115
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,792
Oh, my baby cub!

116
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,587
Oh, my God.
Look at you.

117
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,632
- Oh! You guys notice
anything different?
- Your hair's longer, right?

118
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,675
No.
Did you get
your teeth bleached?

119
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,261
No. Let me give you
a little hint. Ba-boobs!

120
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:48,181
Oh, my God.
Oh, wow.
Those are sensational.

121
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,517
I know, right?
You wanna touch 'em?

122
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:53,186
I'm gay, not dead.
Are you okay with this?

123
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,271
Yeah. You're drinking
a passion-fruit daiquiri.
I'll be fine.

124
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,898
Okay, get in there.
I'm coming in.

125
00:05:58,609 --> 00:06:01,110
♪♪ [Gloria Singing Loudly
In Spanish]

126
00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:09,577
So, Lily likes that,
that... singing?

127
00:06:09,662 --> 00:06:12,872
- Yes. It relaxes her.
- Oh, okay.

128
00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:16,084
♪♪ [Continues]

129
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,129
So Lily's deaf.

130
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,382
[Doorbell Rings]

131
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:24,133
- [Door Opens]
- There are my little stinkers.

132
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:25,885
[Alex]
Howdy.
Hi, Grandpa.

133
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,387
Come on in.
[Gloria]
Hey.

134
00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,180
[Alex]
Hola.
Hola, hola.

135
00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:31,057
Well, hello there, Haley.

136
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,685
Take it down
a notch, Jethro.

137
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:35,645
So, you guys ready
for some fun?

138
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:37,605
What?

139
00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:41,484
I love you, Grandpa,
and I'm never gonna
forget you.

140
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,111
Okay, okay.
Back at ya, champ.

141
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,531
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is a pajama party.
Where's your p.j.'s?

142
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,825
Yeah, they're in my bag.
I need to talk to you
about something.

143
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:53,204
- She wants to go to a party
with Dylan, Grandpa.
- Shut up, Alex.

144
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,915
It's at my friend
Andrew Adler's. He lives
three blocks from here.

145
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:58,543
Oh. Walking distance.
Right.

146
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:02,088
So I wouldn't ask you this,
because I love coming
to your house,

147
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,090
but it's kind of an
important party, and I-

148
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,593
Somebody invites you over,
the last thing you wanna do
is insult them.

149
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:09,345
- Exactly.
- I'm glad we agree.

150
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,806
[Laughs]
Oh, my God.

151
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,766
That was so easy.
This is awesome.

152
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:16,603
You really
don't understand what just
happened there, do you?

153
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:19,522
[Jay]
P.j.'s on, Haley!
What?

154
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:22,358
Um, I would be happy
to let her change in my room.

155
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,115
[Doorbell Rings]
Hmm.

156
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:32,827
Who could that be?
Are you expecting
someone special?

157
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,455
What did you do?

158
00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:39,042
Nothing. I just know
that there's someone
at the door.

159
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:50,136
- Rock on, Phil Dunphy.
- Bam! Read it and weep, Phil.

160
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,180
Oh.
It's the Iz.

161
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:57,101
- [Phil] Who?
- Izzy LaFontaine
from Spandau Ballet.

162
00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,855
Dizzy Dontaine
from Spa- Hey.
He's got it now.

163
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,483
He's got it. He's just
seriously freaking out.
Yes!

164
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,152
Phil loves Spandau Ballet.

165
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,364
That song "True"
was playing in the car
the first time we kissed.

166
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,991
It's our song.
So I did some research,

167
00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:15,662
found out that the lead guitarist
lives, like, 40 miles from here.

168
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,247
He was in the phone book.
How '80s is that?

169
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,917
I never liked
Spandau Ballet.

170
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,252
Our entire marriage,
I never once
mentioned Spandau Ballet.

171
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,296
Am I even
pronouncing that right?

172
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:30,009
Here to play
a private concert for us
is the guitarist-

173
00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:32,178
Bass player, actually.
And lead singer-

174
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,472
Well, backup, backup.
Of Spandau Ballet.

175
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:38,017
Between Richard Miller
and Martin Kemp.
Oh, those guys.

176
00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,478
[Chuckles]

177
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:46,818
I miss you two guys
so much.
Oh.

178
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:49,070
So, so much. To us.
Yeah.

179
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,740
To us.
To us, the Three
Musketeers. Whoo!

180
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:56,327
- Cabo!
- What?

181
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,705
Seriously, you bastards.
We've been talking
about it forever.

182
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:01,290
We're doing it.
We're going to Cabo.
Let's do it. Let's do it.

183
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:04,544
All right. Let's go.
Yeah. Yes. Yes.
That would be fun.

184
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,295
Fun? Are you joking?

185
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,715
Margaritas,
you guys, these guys.

186
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:11,467
It's gonna be epic.
Yeah, but we need
to find someone for Lily.

187
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,720
Okay, okay. Um,

188
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:17,098
how much are you gonna
pay me to go make out
with the waitress?

189
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,934
All right.
Now, wait. Which one?
The old one or the young one?

190
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,812
- Ooh.
- Ten for the young one,
20 for the old.

191
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,981
I am about to make 30 bucks.
[Squeals]

192
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:27,400
I'm just gonna go check
on Lily real quick.
Right now?

193
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,569
Yeah. It'll just
take a second.
Well, I'm just-

194
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:32,155
You're gonna miss me
sluttin' it up with Driving Miss Daisy.

195
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:33,740
It'll just take a second.
Real fast.

196
00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:37,076
[Sighs]
You should kill that baby.

197
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:40,455
- What?
- You should call the baby.

198
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,750
I love you guys so much.

199
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,836
Did she just-
I'm scared.

200
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:50,298
I got nothing.
I think I have
a very good pair.

201
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,467
You sure do, honey.
[Alex]
And I got squat.

202
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:55,261
I don't think
I have anything either.

203
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,221
Are you kidding me?
That's a straight.

204
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,223
Really?
[Jay]
She wins.

205
00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:00,933
[Alex]
You won.

206
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,685
I win.
You got it, Haley.

207
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,812
You know what?
I think I deserve a soda.

208
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:06,773
- [Manny] Good job, Haley.
- [Alex] Did you see that?

209
00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:10,943
[Gloria]
"I don't know how to play."
[Alex] She didn't even know.

210
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,695
[Manny]
You know, she deserves it.

211
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,282
[Jay]
Hi, honey.
Oh!

212
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,117
Gee, you scared me.
How did you-

213
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:21,788
Lightbulb went out. You
don't change these right away,
you never get around to it.

214
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:25,625
There. Now I can see everything
that goes on around here.

215
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,836
[Jay]
I've had a little
practice at this.

216
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:31,589
Haley wasn't throwing
anything at me
I hadn't seen before...

217
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,966
from her mother
and then some.

218
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,260
But nobody
gets off The Rock.

219
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:39,806
Right. Here's a track.
Wasn't so popular in America.

220
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,141
Got to number six on
the Netherlands charts though.

221
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,977
That whole summer
I couldn't walk to
the corner in Amsterdam...

222
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,814
without mobs of birds
coming up and asking me
for the double bubble.

223
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,899
Okay, just play it, I think.
Yeah.

224
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,902
♪♪ [Bass]
He's- He's awesome, honey.

225
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,737
You're welcome.
♪ Tonight ♪

226
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:59,283
♪ So right ♪

227
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:02,787
♪ Lover ♪
Hey, Phil, I think your lover
wants a kiss from you.

228
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:05,039
Oh. Okay.

229
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,750
Oh, come on, man.
She's not your sister.
Give her a proper snog.

230
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,502
- [Chuckles]
- [Laughs]

231
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,546
Oh! Oh.
♪♪ [Stops]

232
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,381
- Oh.
- [Claire] You all right?

233
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:18,719
That's a bad joke. Not funny.
My sister lost her feet to
complications from diabetes.

234
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:21,305
Okay. Can I get you
some water there, guy, or-

235
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,391
- Yeah.
- No. You got tea?

236
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,685
Yes, of course.
I'II get that.
Chamomile.

237
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:29,146
You don't miss a minute.
Okay.
[Chuckles]

238
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:33,067
Oh, God. Why did-
You know, look
at what I'm doing.

239
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,319
I'm- I'm making it
all about me. What a downer.
No.

240
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,363
It's your evening.
Let's make it great, man.
No.

241
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,575
- Name your playlist. I'll do it all.
- Oh, um, just the classics.

242
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,869
- Let's play the hits.
- We'll get to the hits, obviously.

243
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,621
Go to the back catalog, man.
Favorite B-side.

244
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:49,458
That's fun. Yeah, that's fun.
Uh, just- I'm so bad with titles.

245
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,712
- Hum it.
- ♪♪ [Humming]

246
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,882
- ♪ Tonight ♪
- I just did that one, didn't I? Yeah.

247
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,467
That's why it's in the noodle.
So I guess-

248
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:01,220
♪♪ [Humming]

249
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:06,893
- No. What album is that on?
- Second. I wanna say second.

250
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:11,272
- What's on the cover?
- There's a warlock, I think,
or a seascape.

251
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,982
Warlock.
Oh. Millennium Sunrise.

252
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,192
Millennium Sunrise.
Right. There is
no Millennium Sunrise record.

253
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,862
What- What?
You're not a Fandau.

254
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,656
You didn't even know
who I was at the door.
I saw it in your eyes.

255
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,159
Please don't say anything
to Claire. She made a mistake.
Am I being punk'd?

256
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,453
This means so much to her,
and I don't wanna hurt her feelings.

257
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,789
Her feelings? Well,
what about my feelings?
This is my career, man.

258
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,584
You know, my music
was the soundtrack
to people's lives.

259
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,420
Now I'm nothing.
How do you think that feels?
This is really humiliating.

260
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,172
No, no, no.
Don't go. Don't go.

261
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,507
Hey. What are
you guys doing?

262
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:42,553
He let me touch it!

263
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,805
Yeah, I think she
said "kill," Cam. I do.

264
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:47,558
Maybe it was just a joke.
She's always had
a dark sense of humor.

265
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:49,560
That's true.
Remember her Halloween costume?

266
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:52,063
When she came
as Siegfried
and part of Roy.

267
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:55,358
It was too soon.
Yeah. Yeah.
This was just a joke.

268
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,945
Yes. Yeah. Here she comes.
I'm gonna bring up Lily.
We'll see what she says.

269
00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:01,197
Show her some pictures.
Pay up, bitches.

270
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,699
[Screeches]
Whoa. More drinks.

271
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:05,952
- Free drinks.
- Wow.

272
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,412
Sal, you've got to look
at these pictures.
What are they?

273
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:11,123
It's Lily
at the zoo.
Oh, cute.

274
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:14,835
Look at that one.
Cute! Cute.
Cutie, cutie, cute, et cetera.

275
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,047
So you guys are gonna have
to bring Lily to Cabo,

276
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,007
now that you're the guys
that always bring Lily?

277
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,593
Well, you know-
Yeah, probably.

278
00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:25,054
- I will throw her in the ocean.
- What?

279
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,348
I said I gotta go pee.

280
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,433
Okay, that wasn't
even close.
Nope.

281
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:37,024
I mean, what do we do?
Do we say something?
How do we even bring it up?

282
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:39,860
She threatened our child,
and that's your concern- a segue?

283
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,196
You know what this is?
What?

284
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,408
This is
first-child syndrome.
What?

285
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:48,995
It's where the first child is happy,
and then the second child
comes along,

286
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:52,498
and the first child gets
jealous of the second child
and starts acting out.

287
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,626
Yes. That's brilliant,
except Sal's not our child, so-

288
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:58,129
Well, think about it.
We've practically
done everything for her.

289
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,131
We've held her
when she's cried.

290
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,466
We've carried her
when she couldn't walk.

291
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,011
We've done everything
but potty-train her.
Um- Hey, guys.

292
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,054
Hey.
Hey.

293
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:09,849
- I was thinking- Oh.
- Oh. Sorry.

294
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:13,936
When we go to Cabo,
we have to find a hotel
with a swim-up bar,

295
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:17,064
'cause this going back
and forth to the bathroom
is a fool's game.

296
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,692
Okay, let's get
more drinks.
Sal, we got to talk.

297
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,778
- It's about Lily.
- Oh, shocker.

298
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,905
Okay.
Do you think
it's at all possible...

299
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,283
that maybe- maybe
you're jealous of her?
Pfft!

300
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:30,202
What? What?
[Laughing]
It's just-

301
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,205
I don't know.
I don't- Where-
Why would you say that?

302
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,249
Well, because you won't
look at any pictures
of her...

303
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,877
and you talked
about killing her and
throwing her in the ocean.

304
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,921
Okay, that was a joke,
you guys. Come on.

305
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,882
Fine. Show me
the pictures of Yoko.

306
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,717
See, it's-
Sal.

307
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,887
It's a joke. You guys! Come on.
'Cause she's Asian,
and she broke up our group.

308
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:52,224
I- I just- Look,
let's at least acknowledge that
things have changed between us.

309
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:55,686
And you know what? Because
Lily's here doesn't mean
we love you any less.

310
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,897
No. Absolutely not.
What's wrong?

311
00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:01,859
We used to be really close,
and you used to call me a lot.
And now you never call me.

312
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,070
Well, but we-
[Sal]
No.

313
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:06,322
And last week
I had a really bad dream,

314
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,200
and I was thinking,
"Okay, I'm gonna call them."

315
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,994
And then I thought,
"Oh, no, you can't call them...

316
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:15,831
because you might
wake up their baby."

317
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,709
You can always call.
Oh, honey, always call us.

318
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:22,129
No. I'm sorry
we haven't been there.
We're here now, okay?

319
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,590
[Mouths Words]
[Mouths Words]

320
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,176
Okay?
[Burps]

321
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,220
Feel better?
I think you just
put a little-

322
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,388
[Sal Groans]
Spittle?

323
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:34,016
[Mumbling]
Okay.
Okay.

324
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,896
Did she just fall asleep?
I wish Lily
would fall asleep like that.

325
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,856
Give her eight shots of tequila.

326
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,359
♪♪ [Gloria Singing]

327
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:49,698
[Crying]
I don't understand
why she's not falling asleep.

328
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:52,034
I have a theory.
[Jay]
I got the movie.

329
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,330
Manny, why don't you
go fire up some popcorn?

330
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,584
You looking for these?

331
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,212
You took my shoes?
No, I took your freedom.

332
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:06,298
Sorry, kid.
It ain't your night.
Why are you being like this?

333
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,260
I just wanted
to go to that party
for, like, two hours.

334
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,513
I would've been back by now.
Would that have killed you?

335
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,682
She's just like her mother.

336
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,767
Why are you
treating Haley like this?

337
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:18,936
Me? She's the one
acting like a pill.

338
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,980
You're taking this
too personally.

339
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,816
When I was Haley's age,
I loved my grandfather,

340
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,360
but I still wanted
to go to parties
and be with boys.

341
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:29,697
I know. I know.
So did Claire... and Mitchell.

342
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:33,409
But you know what?
You try to put something
over on me, you're gonna lose.

343
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,120
So, what? Now you're gonna
make this into a big game?

344
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,331
I'm trying to keep 'em
around a little bit longer, that's all.

345
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:43,377
I mean, who knows
how many nights like this
I got left?

346
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,841
I miss you already.
What's wrong
with this kid tonight?

347
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:52,678
Go in the kitchen
and help out the guys,
and I'll be right in.

348
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:56,599
It's great that you
wanna spend time
with your granddaughter,

349
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,601
but is this really the way?

350
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:03,230
Fine.
You're a good abuelo.

351
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,984
She's upstairs.
I know.

352
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,946
Dylan!

353
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,783
Yeah?
Get up.

354
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,745
You're here to take Haley
to the party, right?

355
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,664
Yeah.
She's in the house.

356
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,835
How did you know
I was here?

357
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,129
This is how I first met Phil.

358
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,843
Thanks again, Grandpa.
We'II be back by 11:00.

359
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:35,387
- I will track you down.
- I believe that.

360
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,224
- What's that smell?
- Sloppy jays. Help yourself.

361
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:43,020
There's plenty left.
Oh. Sloppy jays
because your name's Jay.

362
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,022
Right on.

363
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,358
Can't believe she's into this guy.

364
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,151
If you want,
I'll fix you a plate.

365
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:52,112
Yeah, definitely.
That'd be great.
But what about the party?

366
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,156
We can go in just a minute.
Just let-
[Gunshot]

367
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:58,202
Oh, no way.
The Gunfighter.
I love this movie.

368
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,329
Dylan, the party.

369
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,249
Oh. But... cowboys.

370
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,876
Don't fight it, Haley.
They never grow up.

371
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,128
Thanks.
I'm going to the kitchen
for an espresso.

372
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,923
Anybody need anything?
[Alex]
No, thanks.

373
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,716
[Claire]
Okay.

374
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,927
Two, three, four.

375
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:19,056
♪ Ah, ha-ha, ha-ah ♪

376
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,433
The year was 1991.

377
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,936
America was immersed
in Desert Storm.

378
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,939
♪ Ah, ha-ha, ha-ah ♪

379
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:30,901
Meanwhile, stateside,
another storm was brewing...

380
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,153
in my heart.
[Laughs]

381
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,155
This is stupid, isn't it?
This is-
No.

382
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,243
- Is it stupid, Phil?
- No. Just keep- keep going, Claire.

383
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,370
- It's wonderful.
- Okay.

384
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:45,541
♪ Ah, ha-ha, ha-ah ♪
After a romantic dinner
at Fratelli's,

385
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,585
a certain nervous young couple
shared their first kiss...

386
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:52,381
as the radio played this song.

387
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,014
♪ So true ♪

388
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,349
♪ Funny how it seems ♪

389
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:04,643
♪ Always in time ♪

390
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,730
♪ But never in line
for dreams ♪

391
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,232
♪ Head over heels ♪

392
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,985
♪ When toe to toe ♪

393
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:16,613
♪ This is the sound of- ♪
You know what?

394
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,199
No. No. Sorry.
Sorry. Not gonna do it.

395
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,993
Yes. Yes.
What's wrong?

396
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,287
- What's going on?
- Do you even know
the name of this song?

397
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,622
P-
"True."

398
00:19:25,749 --> 00:19:27,499
"True."
"True."

399
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,418
Right.
This is false. See?

400
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,420
I'm not gonna play "True"
for someone who's false.

401
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,464
See, he doesn't-
He doesn't even
know the band.

402
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,966
He's not a fan,
a Fandau.
Yes, he does know the band.

403
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:39,053
'Cause this is our song.
You love this song.
Tell him this is our song.

404
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:42,139
- Right. Tell him, Phil.
- It's not our song, Claire.

405
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,808
Our song is "If You Leave"
by Orchestral Manoeuvres
in the Dark.

406
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,977
Oh!
[Claire]
Are you sure?

407
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,813
Pretty sure.
I sang it at our wedding.

408
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,815
Oh, I'm an idiot.

409
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,651
Well, actually, he's the idiot.
He fell in love to a break-up song.

410
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:58,572
Ignore him.
This is beautiful. I love it.
I hate this. I hate this.

411
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:01,408
You're so sweet and nice,
and I can't even give you...

412
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:03,452
a decent
anniversary present.

413
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,747
I love you so much,
and I feel you just
are never gonna know it.

414
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:10,334
I know it. I know it. Yes.
You do know it?

415
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,796
You do?
And this is an awesome gift.

416
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,839
You know why?
Why?

417
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,384
You just gave us a new song.
Okay.

418
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,844
Sort of brought you
back together, eh?

419
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,554
Seems.
Sort of. Yeah.

420
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,100
Rekindled fires
of a dying passion?
Sure.

421
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:29,436
Shot a ray of hope
into this gloomy
suburban lie?

422
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,438
All right, buddy.
Just play it, lzzy.

423
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,941
[Man]
♪ Ah, ha-ha, ha-ah ♪
For you, Claire.

424
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:36,985
♪ I know this ♪

425
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:40,572
♪ Much is true ♪

426
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:44,451
♪ Ah, ha-ha, ha-ah ♪

427
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:47,246
♪ I know this ♪

428
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:50,833
♪ Much is true ♪♪

429
00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:56,171
[Man On TV]
Okay, partner.

430
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:59,466
I knew Mr. Frazzlebottom wasn't
gonna pass up a free one.
[Slurping]

431
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,886
She is so sweet.
Isn't she?

432
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,389
Like a little angel.
Hmm.

433
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,391
Let me hold her.

434
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,605
[Grunts]
Oh, thank God.

435
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:19,153
[Man On TV]
Why don't you button up
your britches and go home?

436
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,163
ENGLISH - US - PSDH

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net